For What It's Worth

January 2, 2002

Rooftop of the CNN Center

Atlanta, Georgia

At 9:37pm on December 23^rd, 2001, Billy left a voicemail on my cell phone. I didn’t get it until nearly midnight because I was MC'ing the office party.

BILLY: Cool. Voicemail. This actually makes it easier to say. Um . . . Heh, still kinda weird to say . . . but I’m joining the army. I’ve been reading and watching everything they’ve been doing over there and I think I could really help. I’ve been talking to Colonel McGuiness and I’m going to go to boot camp after the new year. I know I’m just a kid, I know what you’re going to say, “people die in wars, this is serious, blah blah blah.” I know. But I still can’t help but think that with my ability, I could save some lives and take down some bad guys. I’m a little scared but I think I'm more excited than scared. I wonder what boot camp’s gonna be like? Do you think they’ll tailor it to fit me? Since I can fly? That’d be cool. It could be like Battle School – did you ever read Ender’s Game? Awesome book. Orson Scott Card. Check it out. Anyway. Just thought you should know. Merry Christmas.

CLICK.

Ten days pass. Billy doesn't answer his phone. He doesn't respond to my e-mails. Ten days pass and then “INCOMING” beeps on my cell phone. I instantly abandon the conference call I’m on and head to the roof. Billy’s already there, standing with a blond girl he introduces as “Leigh.”

BILLY: This is Leigh.

I recognize her instantly. Between December 23 and January 2, Billy did communicate with me once.

On New Year's Eve, Billy sent me a picture he had taken with his phone. It was of a girl balancing on one foot, trying to slip into more comfortable shoes at whatever party they were at. She was slipping into skater shoes, an odd juxtaposition with her her black evening dress. Captioning the photo was, "Heading up and out. See if you can spot us!"

She now stands before me, shifting her weight back and forth. Her smile is both nervous and excited. She's small and fit, somehow shorter than Billy, who's shorter than me, and I'm no Goliath at 5'8". Her shoulder-length blond hair must be new to her. She keeps trying to tuck it behind her ears, but it keep whipping in front of her face.

LEIGH: Hi.

ME: Tim Craine, pleased to meet you.

LEIGH: Oh, I know who you are. My dad and I used to watch you every night on Comedy Central.

ME: This must be a pretty big forty-eight hours for you, then. Getting to make out with America’s superhero on top of the Chrysler Building as the ball drops and then getting to meet me the next day.

LEIGH: You saw that?

ME: Everyone saw that.

BILLY: Tim!

My name has never sounded more like a bark.

BILLY: I need you to be ruder. Do you think you could do that? I don’t think you can.

A tense pause. Leigh blushes and tries to hide her face. In Billy's hurt and angry eyes I see the ass that I am.

ME: Sorry.

BILLY: Holy cow, dude. I come by here to see you one last time, and to introduce you to Leigh and you’re acting like a jealous little girl – no offense.

Leigh shakes her head. There was none taken.

ME: Sorry. You haven’t been returning my calls and I’ve wanted to talk to you about this joining the army thing and . . .

BILLY: You think maybe there’s a reason I haven’t been returning your calls?

LEIGH: Maybe because you’re pansy liberal democrat who “bleeping hates war?”

BILLY: I wanted to see if he could guess.

LEIGH: Sorry.

ME: I don’t want to meet the man who loves war. But that’s not it, Billy. This isn’t a video game. This isn’t Medal of Honor or whatever you're playing. This is people trying to kill you while you try to kill them.

BILLY: “The point isn’t to die for your country, it’s to make the other poor, dumb bastard die for his.” I know.

ME: But . . .

BILLY: My dad was in Vietnam. I know war’s hell.

ME: He told you all about it?

BILLY: No.

It’s a definitive “no.” A “no” that tells me that he understands that his father’s silence on the subject fills more volumes on the atrocity of war than his words ever could. I nod and drop the subject.

ME: Leigh, is it?

LEIGH: Yeah.

ME: How’d the two of you meet?

LEIGH: We just bumped into each other, really.

BILLY: Her aunt is friends with my grandmother.

LEIGH: And she always throws these huge new year parties.

BILLY: Her aunt, not my grandmother.

LEIGH: She invites everyone she knows and tells them to invite everyone they know. She has the most amazing view of Time Square. And he was there and I was there . . .

BILLY: We just clicked. Wouldn’t you know? I meet this insanely cool girl three days before I’m supposed to ship off?

ME: That does suck.

LEIGH: “It could have been worse. We could have never met at all.”

BILLY: Oh, what is that from? I know that movie! I know it, it’s uh . . .

Billy’s snapping his fingers, trying to jog his memory.

ME: You two should go. Enjoy your time together. Go see Atlanta. Take her to the Coke museum.

LEIGH: Ooh!

ME: But first, before you go, this is for you.

I hand a Billy the album “America Town” by Five For Fighting.

BILLY: Oh, thanks.

ME: It’s actually from the wife. She said you should listen to track 3. She loves it and it always make her think of you.

BILLY: Thanks.

ME: And second, could you give me a sound bite?

BILLY: Sure, what do you want?

I pause, collect my thoughts, and clear my throat.

ME: So Billy. You’ve joined the army.

BILLY: I have.

ME: Why?

BILLY: In a word, “freedom.” Everyone deserves the right to live freely. Whether you’re a Christian or a Jew or an Atheist, you have the right to live as you deem. And when someone takes that right away from you, that’s wrong. It’s wrong, plain and simple. And a lot of people say they believe in what’s right and what’s wrong, but most people seem to believe in what’s convenient. They say they want what’s right, but what they want is what’s convenient. And there are some amazing men and women fighting overseas right now – not because it’s convenient – because it’s right. And with my unique talent, with my unique ability – heck, I’ll say it. With my ability to fly . . .

Leigh giggles.

BILLY: I think I can save some lives. And if by contributing my fair share, I can make this war that much shorter, then who am I to sit at home and watch it on the news?

ME: Good luck, Billy.

BILLY: I don’t believe in luck, but I appreciate it. C’mon girl.

Billy hoists Leigh onto his back, who clamps on, gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then waves “good-bye.” They’re off like a shot. Billy has to push off a little harder to get airborne with her on his back, but once they’re in the sky, they’re weightless. They don't disappear over the horizon, but behind the Omni Hotel. I leave the rooftop and the recorders and the cameras, one by one, click off.

1/02/02

TC